Winging it... Part Two.

Hey all.

Thanks for all your comments yesterday. And glad to see the synopsis for BBBB was helpful. I had planned to post the revision email I got today, but I haven't heard back from my ed (probably extremely busy reading submissions so we can't blame her) and I don't want to post her words without getting her permission. So I'll just do a quick recap of what she liked and didn't like.

But before I do that, I should say that I wrote this synopsis after I'd written the book and that the revs I got were on the whole ms not just the synopsis. Interestingly, a lot of the changes the ed asked for weren't in the synopsis (perhaps a clue right there that they had no business being in the book!!).

But here are the basic pros and cons she pointed out in her revs:

The BBBB Revs:

Pros:

One thing they particularly liked was the fact that I'd taken a risk with my hero's past (ie he had a criminal record) but that I had managed to fully redeem him by the end of the book so that he was worthy of my heroine.

They loved the 'sexy, sparky' interaction between the hero and heroine.

And they liked the fact that both the hero and heroine had shown a great deal of emotional development during the story (especially the hero).

Cons:

The ms was 20,000 words too long (something you guys won't have a problem with) because I had aimed it at another line.

They wanted me to cut out several of the secondary characters (Linc and Ali had two other kids who ended up on the cutting room floor) for length reasons but also because they took the focus away from the romantic relationship.

They didn't want Monroe actually delivering Ali's baby because (as Aideen figured out) it was 'a little bit ick', but also because this scene (which featured only Monroe and Ali) again took the focus away from Monroe's relationship with Jesse.

My hero's American dialogue was totally unconvincing (oops). In the end I got help with that from an American author who gave the ms a quick read and pointed out the real corkers (FYI only rednecks say 'reckon' apparently!!)

Monroe's criminal record had to be 'tweaked'. They were happy with the fact that he'd had two terms in jail as a teenager but didn't want him to have been done for breaking and entering because that was irredeemable. In the end we changed it to a barfight.

The biggest problem plotwise was Monroe's 'sterilisation' as a teenager by his mother. They thought this tipped the balance into melodrama and was too extreme.

And the epilogue I had added was too far in the future. Taking place ten years after Monroe and Jesse's marriage. Modern Heat is about young couples starting out, so they wanted it a lot more immediate.

So there you have it... The main changes were all to do with tightening the story up, tailoring it to Modern Heat and keeping the focus on Monroe and Jesse's relationship. And cutting the extra 20,000 words!!

What to Put and Not to Put in Your Synopsis:

What I find more interesting though when reading the synopsis for BBBB is all the scenes that I didn't describe in it. The scene where Monroe tells Jesse about his past (his mother's abuse and the fact that he was raped as a teenager in jail). The scene where she sees his art for the first time and tells him he has to make a career out of it. The scene where they have a picnic on the beach and Monroe discovers she has always dreamed about having what her sister Ali has (and he becomes starkly aware that he can never give that to her).

Why didn't I describe them? Simple, in a 2-page (or even 1-page) synopsis there isn't space. But what I did do was reference the conflict and/or character development that took place in those scenes.

What you have to do when deciding what to describe and what not to describe in your synopsis is look at every single scene in your story (or if you haven't written the story yet, just visualise the basic plot development during the course of your story) and then look at how your hero and heroine and their relationship has developed in each scene (or plot point) and/or how their conflict is changing (ie: being confronted or resolved) and then summarise those changes/devlopments in the narrative of your synopsis.

Making Your Synopsis Work for You:

The synopsis (quite apart from giving an ed the low-down on your story) can also be a brilliant tool for you when it comes to structuring and pacing your story.

One thing to look out for when writing your synopsis is scenes where nothing much happens. They could be scenes which concentrate on secondary characters too much (like my icky birth scene!!), or don't tell us anything significant about the H & H or their relationship, or they may be scenes that go over old ground and repeat information you've already given the reader in another scene. If you find those scenes, take a good, long look at them and decide if they're really necessary. And be ruthless. Because if they're not doing anything they could seriously slow the pace (however sparky and sexy the dialogue or beautifully written they are).

Another way to make your synopsis work for you is to make sure that you've got all the scenes you need to show rather than tell the story of your conflict. By working out who your hero and heroine are, what their conflict is and how it is going to be resolved you are clarifying the structure of your book.

Think of the synopsis as a road map, so that when you come to write the book, you know exactly what every single scene needs to achieve. Or as a revision tool if you've already written the book, to tell you which scenes are not working or which scenes you have to add.

One thing I always look out for now in my writing is scenes where I've got a third party keeping the conflict moving in the right direction (say a villainous step-sister who reveals to the heroine that the hero's illegitimate) or a random external conflict that keeps the plot moving (like a marriage of convenience for no good reason other than that I had a great scene with an Elvis impersonator in mind).

So my final bit of advice is, when writing a synopsis, keep an eye out for any random Elvis Impersonators.

Winging it... Or how to write a decent synopsis when you hate the flipping things.

With the news on I Heart Presents that Harlequin/M&B are running a brand new writing comp for aspiring authors to Modern and Modern Heat, I thought it might be useful to give some tips about writing the dreaded synopsis by posting the synopsis for my first ever published book, Bedded by a Bad Boy (aka Bedded by a Playboy in the US).

I'm also going to post some notes tomorrow about what parts of this

synopsis didn't work for the editor - and what bits I changed and strengthened when revising the story.

But before I do any of that I should point out that I am no expert on synopsis writing. Being a complete pantser, I generally avoid them with a passion (and have only had to do outlines for the books I've published since). So if you want tips on how to write a synopsis that will dazzle the editors with its brilliance and originally and beautiful craftsmanship. Forget it... You ain't getting any help with that from me, because I've never managed it myself... But if, like me, you can't stand writing the damn things, but know it's a necessary evil (especially before you get published), I can offer advice about how to make the process work for you and your story.

So here's my top tip: The synopsis is a narrative describing your characters and their conflict and NOT a description of the plot.

What that means: Stay focussed on the internal conflict between your H & h like a rottweiler with a juicy bone. Make sure that conflict springs from your characters and their emotions and not from outside influences, that it drives the story, works itself out through the course of the plot, reaches a crescendo and is resolved and is, at all times, one hundred per cent consistent. And describe that in your synopsis. Your plot is only relevant as a narrative of your characters and their conflict, not the other way around.

And another thing to remember. The synopsis is really just a tool to show the eds you actually have a book worked out after that wham-bang opening scene and that you've got a basic understanding of your characters and their conflict. But it's still your voice they'll be looking at most, your storytelling ability, because

everything else can be revised. And if you're like me, the chances of you ending up with the same story you wrote in your synopsis once you've written the book are pretty much ziltch.

Okay so here's that synopsis I was talking about. See what you think....

SYNOPSIS

Bedded by a Bad Boy

aka Bedded by a Playboy

by Heidi Rice

JESSIE CONNOR is an impetuous, wildly romantic English girl in America who believes that family is everything. As long as she can remember, she’s dreamed of having a gorgeous husband and a house full of beautiful children -- just like her big sister Ali. So when Jessie and the heavily pregnant Ali return to Ali and her husband Linc Latimer’s seaside home in Long Island and spy a naked trespasser taking a swim in the pool, Jessie knows just what has to be done. The guy may have a body like Brad Pitt but he’s on private property and she’s going to sort him out. Nobody messes with her family.

MONROE LATIMER is a loner who’s spent the last 14 years roaming America on his Harley. He believes in nothing and nobody, except himself. After two spells in prison as a teenager, Monroe knows that he’s the only person he can count on. He’s driven to the Hamptons out of curiosity, but no way is he going to visit his long-lost brother Linc once he sees the swanky neighbourhood where Linc and his family live. But then he spots an empty house with an empty pool and figures, what harm could a little swim do, before he heads back to the interstate?

Turns out quite a lot, when he pulls on his jeans and is tackled by a beautiful girl with a crisp English accent, firecracker hair and a temper to match. Then Linc and Ali and their two young children show up and Monroe is trapped, forced to accept an invite to stay in their garage apartment. The apartment — full of light and overlooking the beach — is the perfect place to paint and Monroe’s secret passion is painting, so he agrees to stay, but only if he does yard work to pay his way. He’s no goddamn freeloader. The one other compensation is Linc’s feisty little sister-in-law who Monroe thinks is cute as hell when she’s riled, which is whenever she’s around him.

Jessie decides Linc and Ali must be insane. What are they thinking inviting a stranger into their home? He may be gorgeous but he’s obviously a complete reprobate, why else would he get such a kick out of making her mad?

After a trip to town on Monroe’s Harley, an errant kiss in front of the A&P on Main Street and the discovery that Linc and Ali’s five-year-old daughter Scout has become Monroe’s biggest fan, Jessie’s opinion of the new house guest begins to change. She loves art, but she’s never had the talent to create it herself, so when she discovers that Monroe is an artist, she finally has to admit she’s hooked. But still she resists. He’s way too dangerous for her.

However hard he tries to distance himself, Monroe finds himself falling for the family against his will -- and the gorgeous Jessie is the catalyst. He wants her, badly, but knows he shouldn’t touch her. She’s got quality written all over her and that’s a word he can barely even spell.

When Linc gives Monroe a birthday gift, Monroe’s fear of becoming a part of the family comes to a head and he snubs his brother. Thinking Monroe has been unbelievably rude, Jessie confronts him. During the heated exchange that follows, Jessie sees through Monroe’s cool, cocky facade to the vulnerable, lonely man beneath. He needs love, companionship -- and who better to give it to him than her?

With Linc and Ali and their children away in New York for two weeks, Jessie and Monroe begin a tempestuous affair. But while Jessie becomes convinced Monroe is her dream man, Monroe knows he’s exactly the opposite. He can never give her family or commitment; he just doesn’t live that way.

When Ali and Linc return, Ali cautions Jessie about the affair. The sex may be fantastic, but Monroe’s going to be a hard man to love, especially if he won’t share his feelings with her. Jessie is blinded by her love for Monroe, though, and allows him to dictate the terms of the relationship, especially when she watches him deliver Ali’s baby — the doctor was unable to get there in time — and begins to spin dreams about what a wonderful father Monroe would make.

Jessie becomes increasingly uneasy, however, when she tells Monroe she loves him, countless times, and he says nothing in return. Eventually, at Ali’s suggestion, Jessie gives Monroe an ultimatum she won’t sleep with him anymore until he tells her how he really feels.

Desperate to guard his heart, scared that he is falling in love with someone he can never keep, Monroe closes himself off from Jessie and the rest of the family. If only he could just get on his Harley and go now, but somehow he can’t bring himself to do it.

Jessie makes the startling discovery that she’s pregnant. She tells Monroe and is horrified when he accuses her of cheating on him. The baby isn’t his. It can’t be. His mother -- an abusive woman who hated both him and Linc -- had him sterilised as a young teenager. Jessie flees to New York, now convinced that she has been fooling herself about Monroe all along. How can he ever have loved her if he can accuse her of something so hideous?

Linc forces Monroe to get tested by a fertility specialist. Monroe discovers he is the father of Jessie’s baby, something that he knew all along in his heart. He tracks Jessie down in New York.

Hurt and angry, Jessie resists him. Monroe is forced to finally lay his feelings bare, to admit to Jessie that he loved her all along but was too scared to tell her. Because he thought he could never give her what she dreamed of. Home, hearth, family.

Jessie sees Monroe for who he really is. Not a dream man, but a real one. He’s vulnerable and insecure after the horrors of his childhood, but he loves her, and he needs her and is at last willing to admit it. She doesn’t want a fantasy anymore, she wants Monroe, their baby and a life they can build together.

Phew, that was a bit long... But now you get my drift I hope. Conflict, conflict, conflict....

Free ebook on it's way....

Got some exciting news from my editor last week which I am now passing on... M&B have decided to make Pleasure, Pregnancy and a Proposition one of their free ebook giveaways on their website. It's gonna be available from 17th July, I think. Interesante? Si!

Also, saw an entry on Amazon US and Borders for the Mills and Boon Christmas Treasury of Romance which has my short story One Enchanted Christmas Evening in it (hot boss, single mum, Christmas ball at a top London hotel, yum, yum, yum) and appears to be out in October. I'm chuffed to bits to be in there with names like Lucy Monroe, Julia James and Liz Fielding. What a thrill!

One I needed at the moment cause I seem to be having a bit of tussle with my present ms. I knew I'd spoken too soon... Darn it.

PHS Today... Tomorrow the World!!

Popping in to say I'm blogging at the PHS today on my favourite film of all time. On the Waterfront!! So if you've never heard of it, nip over there and see what you've been missing....

In other news, the ms is finally buzzing. I've submitted my first ever proper partial to my ed and although she had some niggles, nothing that wasn't doable. So now I have a road map for the first time ever and it feels almost liberating. No more running around in the dark trying to get my characters to do all the work... Watch this space to see if they fall into line now.

Chapter Two has landed... At last

So after a bit of brainstorming with my editor yesterday I've finally managed to keel-haul myself into Chapter Two... Of course my inner critic is still bitching about chapter one but I've decided to lock her and her foghorn in a cupboard for the time being. She was definitely getting a bit too big for her thigh-high leather boots. 

The relief is enormous, and makes me realise that that's the real unsung privilege (and luxury) of being published. There I was whining about my woes and I have this person at my fingertips who knows what I should be doing. Or at the very least can steer me in the right direction.so I'm going to stop whining now and get on with it.

 That's not to say that in any author-editor relationship there won't sometimes be disagreements. There will be. But having that kind of honest, unbiased, informed feedback is worth its weight in gold - especially when your inner critic has lost the plot. Sorry, I'm so deliriously relieved, I'm overdosing on writing analogies.  

So Heidi's got her mojo back, but what has that got to do with Richard Armitage smouldering in North and South you're probably saying?? Simple, it's my reward for getting to Chapter Two and a little thank you to those nice folks who took time out from wrestling with their own current WIPs to leave a comment. And to add to the party here's a  YouTube fan clip I found celebrating the serial which is currently being repeated on BBC4 on Sundays. After I've slogged through the proofs for Public Affair, Secretly Expecting this weekend I am so going to treat myself to a touch of Mr Armitage in his cravat. Yum.

First chapter woes...The RNA Party... And other excuses to procrastinate

I'm taking a break from my current ms, which is going nowhere fast, and stopping to contemplate the writing of my fifth book, which is due out next month. Why was that one so easy to write and the last two so incredibly hard? I have no idea...

So far I've rewritten the first chapter of my latest four times!! This is not a good sign. I think it comes from nerves, after spending two months writing ten chapters of complete dross on my last ms and then having to start from the beginning again, I am determined not to ignore my inner critic this time and admit when I have a problem. Only problem is... Is one month spent writing the first chapter really an improvement? I don't think so. 

Frankly I need a kick up the butt writing wise. During my many re-draughts I have learned heaps of interesting things about my characters, their conflict and their past... This is my first proper reunion romance with the hero and heroine having grown up together in the same stately home, him as the son of the Duke and her as the daughter of the housekeeper. So what I've learned is all valuable stuff... But I seem to have dropped myself into a black hole with my opening scene which involves a corset, thigh-high leather boots, an exclusive gentlemen's club and a rowdy bunch of Hooray Henries who mistake my heroine for a stripper!

So let's get out of the writing trenches and talk about the RNA party last Wednesday which was an absolute blast. Met a wonderful aspiring author who had read all five of my books (and that's a fairly exclusive bunch of people, in fact I think my mum and me may be the only other members) and had dinner with Biddy Coady, Julie Cohen and Fiona Harper. Julie gave us some hilarious insights into her new book The Girl from Mars (which I will be first in line to buy come June), and the trials and tribulations of writing Klingon dialogue!! Sorry, no piccies as usual. I forgot my camera and while Fiona flashed hers about a bit I never saw her take any photos. We were all having too much fun nattering. 

So I'm illustrating this post with Julie's book cover which is delicious. Also, Julie's blog had some interesting things to say about the 'crows of doubt' recently and how she's had trouble starting her latest book, which made me realise that at least I'm not alone. Which is always good to know.

In other interesting news, I was reading Lorraine Wilson's blog (she's an author who I'm sure will be published soon if her blog's anything to go by) and she put me on to this article about M&B and how they're surviving the downturn. Which frankly is manna from Heaven to those of us currently trying to make a living at this gig.

Okay, I've now exhausted all possible blog topics so I guess I'm going to have to trudge back to the battle of the opening chapter... Arghhhh! 

Out in Germany....

Woohoo! 

Just heard from my fellow Modern Heat author Nicola Marsh that I have my first book out in Germany. How exciting. The title 'Nur eine rasante Affare?' translates as (I think) 'Only a Quick Affair?' but is actually my first book Bedded by a Bad Boy (which I only know from the character names - as my German's about as good as my Dutch!).

Also, got my June copy of Romantic Times Book Reviews today and spotted a Top Pick for Trish Wylie and a four-star review for Natalie Anderson. Well, done ladies, you wrote two cracking books.